Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stress. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

71 Days | Building A Strong Wall



A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls. -Prov. 25:28

Tonight, I received a text from a "90 Day-er."  After a rough day of being reemed out by the boss for something he didn't do, this person just wanted to take a headlong dive into a giant steak and baked potato.  What the heck...throw in some dessert and a couple of glasses of wine too!

Ever been there?  Here are a few of my thoughts...

Self-Control: The Great Wall of Defense

Francine Rivers is one of my favorite authors.  A few years ago I read her novella entitled "Rahab." If you are familiar with the account of Joshua and the battle of Jericho, this story took you on an insider perspective of that story. It gave an awesome depiction of the battle at Jericho.  What I distinctly remember was the emphasis on the city walls.  The city walls were also called the "Defensive Walls" and for good reason.  They protected the city from any outside dangers and harm.  If you wanted to conquer a city, you had to overcome the walls.


The walls around a city were tall and made of bricks and stones and mortar.  They were meant to be impenetrable.   Men with weapons guarded the wall--and the city gate.  The gate was the only place for outside forces to enter.

In order for Joshua to conquer the city, he had to first conquer the walls.  It seemed crazy what God asked him to do, but he marched and the horns blew and...well, the walls came down, exposing Jericho to a massacre of great magnitude.  No protection was going to keep out the army that had one thing on its mind--VICTORY!

A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.  How extremely vulnerable and weak!  Worse than weak.  What is weaker than weak?  I can't seem to find a word for it.

We need city walls around our hearts and our minds.  We need impenetrable walls to keep us from utter defeat.  When I am lacking self control, I am very weak to the temptations around me.  That weakness brings about a massacre of epic proportions.  I can't afford that!  

The word of the day is: SELF CONTROL.  It is something that needs to be exercised.  It's like a muscle.  The more we use it, the stronger it becomes.

So, the 90 Day-er was right to reach out.  He knew his walls were being compromised and he needed to call in the defense team to secure the gate.  We texted through the situation and he felt much better.  I don't think he fell headlong into food.  He was going to look for other rewards instead.  

What are ways you reward yourself that aren't food?
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Saturday, January 18, 2014

74 Days | Think on What is True About the Future


To me, this is important to address, because so many of us have developed bad habits of the mind.  We need a healthy MIND to go with our healthy body.  So maybe you can relate to this.

I'm a worrier.  I blame my mother for this. (She knows!)  She is a self-proclaimed worrier.

I used to lay in bed for hours and "think."  That's what I would call it.  "Thinking."  But it was really worrying.  Fretting.  Fearing.

  • What if my house burns down in the middle of the night?  Do my children know how to escape?  Do I know how to escape?
  • What if God takes my children from me? Or my husband from me?
  • Why isn't my friend talking to me?  I wonder how it will go when I see her/him tomorrow for the first time since the silence.
  • When will I receive my cancer diagnosis?  Will I be afraid of dying?  
  • What if I'm in a car accident?  What if Dan is in an accident?

I mean, you get the idea, right?  And those are just the big things.  I get frantic about details as well.

  • Did I put everything on my list that I could possibly need for vacation?  Did I forget anything?
  • What if I am asked to coordinate that event?  How could I do that with the most efficiency and excellence?

It really requires a lot of mental exercise to juggle so much concern.  

There were some MAJOR worries I had before I started my transformation.  Maybe you can relate to these:
  • What if I just keep gaining weight?  Is this how I will die?
  • What if I try to lose weight again and just can't?  Will I just fall into the pit of despair?
  • What if everyone around me loses weight and I just keep getting bigger?  What if I can't walk up the stairs anymore?  What if I can't sit on that chair?  What if I can't fit through that space?  What if I get there and I can't do all that walking?  What if...

I was reminded of a powerful truth through Elizabeth George's book, "Loving God with All Your Mind."  I can't say it as well as she did, so I will simply quote her:

Oh, dear friend, whatever your 'what if' is, you must remember that 'what if' is only a guess.  If you want to overcome your fears, you cannot think 'what if' thoughts.  Instead...you and I must acknowledge that events in the future are not real.  We must eliminate this kind of speculative thinking because thoughts about the future are only guesses.'
Furthermore, the future is in God's hands--His loving, capable, merciful, powerful hands!  He can enable us to deal with what is real, with what is now.  And, the truth is, He will also be with us whatever the future holds.  Lo, He is 'with you always, even to the end of the age' (Matthew 28:20)!  Yes, we need to be prepared for things like earthquakes.  And yes, we need to be wise about our finances, our parenting, and our health.  But we don't need to waste energy worrying about what is not yet real, about things that may never come to pass.' 
God  calls us to handle each day, one at a time.  TODAY is real, and, Beloved, God will enable us to deal with what today holds.  THAT is what's true."

Sunday, January 12, 2014

80 Days | Overcoming Emotional Eating

Take Shape for Life has a behavioral therapist on staff to help clients process the various emotions that often come along with changing habits.  This is an article he wrote on Emotional Eating that I thought was worth sharing with you!  

Feature blogger: Nick Frye, Behavioral Specialist for Take Shape for Life


OVERCOMING EMOTIONAL EATING

It can certainly be very difficult to make changes in our eating habits when we have long work hours, financial strains, and other distressing things going on in our lives that conflict with our ability to care for ourselves… I mean who has time for self-care?! Food can certainly fill that role. When we experience stressful events or negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, emptiness and sadness food can bring us comfort. I mean, they don’t call it “comfort food” for nothing do they?!
Food helps us feel better (temporarily) if we are feeling stressed or upset or tired. Because food can make us feel better it is really easy to develop the habit of seeking food to improve our moods. Over time, as neural pathways link the change in mood with the experience of eating food, the association grows stronger. Past sensory emotional associations with food stored in our brains are called “mental ghosts.”
Environmental cues (like being home after work) and emotional triggers (like stress and feeling tired) drive eating by stimulating our “mental ghosts.” When they’re triggered they bring forth our expectation that food will bring us pleasure and/or relief from distress; when we expect something to bring us pleasure and/or relief from distress, that expectation actually amplifies the rewarding value of food. Expectation then drives our action and the pursuit of food. Then the food makes us feel better which only strengthens the association of a change in mood with the experience of eating food
This is what we call a “vicious cycle.”
Now, there is absolutely something we can do to change this cycle however there isn’t really much we can do to stop this vicious cycle dead in its track. This is because this habit has developed over many years and will therefore take patient and persistent action, over time, in order to change it. In fact, trying to stop this cycle is kind of like trying to stop a runaway freight train. An impossible task that will only leave us frustrated, disappointed and completely flattened. Again, we can’t stop it dead in its track but we can change this habit over time. Here’s how you do it:
The most effective method is a three-pronged approach including 
  • Critical Perceptual Shift
  • Healthy Competing Behaviors 
  • Planned Responses

First, Critical Perceptual Shift is when we change our emotional appraisal of food. As I said before we have an expectation that “food brings me pleasure and/or relief from distress.” In order to have success in changing we will need to change this expectation. Think of this as “retraining your brain” to think in a different way. We need to flip these expectations on their head by drawing towards what you want and pushing away from what is no longer desirable. Develop a statement that draws you towards healthy eating habits. Something like “I feel great when I choose a healthy way to cope with my emotions!” Next, develop a statement that pushes away from using food as a coping mechanism. Something like “Eating to comfort myself actually makes me feel more miserable.” Again, we are trying to “retrain the brain” to formulate new expectations and thought patterns. Every day, read your new expectations to yourself over and over again as many times as you can until you begin to truly believe these statement. This process is called counterconditioning.
Next, Healthy Competing Behaviors are going to be those healthy coping skills and enjoyable activities that will replace food. You see, if this all comes down to seeking pleasure and/or relief from emotional distress then we will need to find alternative activities that accomplish this! My suggestion is to develop a “Menu” that lists any pleasurable activities that you can think of and any comforting activities that you can think of. This way you will have a list of options that you can use to obtain pleasure and/or relief from emotional distress. Right now you might feel like food is your only option to make yourself feel good. You can help this by brainstorming a list of other possible ways that you can experience pleasure and relief from emotional distress. Then you can look at his “Menu” and decide what would be the best options for you to try in place of food. Some examples of “Comfort Menu” items include: Deep Breathing, Meditation, Positive Imagery, Squeezing a Stress Ball, Giving Yourself a Hand Massage, Make a Stress Free Zone to Relax Within, Spend Time Outdoors in the Sun, Stretch, Take a Quick Walk, Listen to Your Favorite Song, Write Your Emotions Down, Light Scented Candles, Smell Citrus or Coffee, Talk to a Friend or Cuddle with a Pet. Identify as many options as you can and choose what makes the most sense to you.
Finally, Planned Responses means having a set of rules designed to de-condition habitual responses to food. The shift from wanting to behave differently and actually doing so requires setting rules and practicing them until they become programmed behavior. A planned response should include the “cue” that sets off the emotional desire for food, the “reward” that food would provide, and a new “routine” that will change the automatic response. You can use the items on your “Comfort Menu” to fill in as the new routine. This should look like this:
“When [identify the cue], I will [identify the new routine] because it provides me with [identify the reward].”
Here’s an example: 
“When I feel stressed, I will take a walk because it provides me with a sense of calm and peace of mind.”
Whereas the old automatic response would be to eat when feeling stressed, the new routine would be to take a walk. This planned response is a guideline for you to follow. Write it down. Read it. Practice it. You may not be able to do it every time but that doesn’t matter. We are going for progress, not perfection. Change is a process, not an event. As long as you pay attention to this new planned response, think about it, try to do it and continue to practice it… then this new routine will eventually become your new automatic response!
If you are able to create a Critical Perceptual Shift, a list of Healthy Competing Behaviors, and Planned Responses incorporating those new pleasurable and comforting activities you will experience two pretty incredible things. First, you will change your automatic responses which will increase your ability to resist cues (like emotional distress) to eat. This success will then breed more and more success. Second, the intensity of your desires for comfort food will begin to diminish and you will be able to find other things just as or even more rewarding than food was in the past.
As I said before, none of these things will stop that vicious cycle dead in its tracks but if you practice these things, over and over, until they become programmed behavior then you will have changed this habit! Remember to focus on making changes in your habits in order to get the weight loss results that you desire. I hope this information was helpful for you today and I thank you for taking the time to listen.  Thanks again!


Saturday, January 11, 2014

81 Days | Lifestyle Event Exercise


As your identifying habits in your life, you're finding that some habits lead you AWAY from where you really want to go.  We are either practicing the Habits of Health or the Habits of Disease. 

I'm borrowing an excerpt from Dr. A's Stop.Challenge.Choose Transformation, which came in my email yesterday.  If you haven't signed up for this awesome opportunity, do so today at www.stopchallengechoose.com and put my name (or Hope's name, or the name of the health coach who invited you here) in the health coach column.  You'll be so encouraged!

Lifestyle Event Exercise

Let's do a little exercise!  No...you don't have to go to the gym for this one.

List five lifestyle events in your journal that you'd like to experience. These could be as large as hiking the Appalachian Trail or as everyday as playing touch football with your kids. 

Next, list the habits that support or prevent these lifestyle events from happening. As an example, you may not be exercising, so you quickly get short of breath when you try to play sports with your children.

Identify Stress Habits

Oftentimes, our worst habits are triggered by negative events, and we turn to certain behaviors to comfort us, like overeating or oversleeping. 

For this exercise, list five habits that you rely on when you're upset, stressed, depressed, angry, sad, bored, tired, or overworked.

Reprogram Your Habits

Now that we have identified your goals and some of your worst habits, we have a picture of where we are... and you've already been spending a lot of time DREAMING about where we want to be. 

So...

As we continue on these 90 days together, we will make the steady transition into a healthier lifestyle together.  I'm so proud of you already!

Feel free to share your answers to the exercise with the team, if you feel comfortable with that.