56 Days | You Don't "Become Somebody" Through Work

Do you have a stressful job?  Maybe it's in the corporate world, or maybe it's in the confines of your own home.  Personally, the most stressful job I've ever had is being a full time mommy.  (And I thought working for a fast-paced marketing agency was tough.  Yeah right.)  Being a Mommy counts as work, you know?  It's HARD work.  It's important work. 

I have always been a hard worker.  I had a great example in my father, who showed me that hard work could be enjoyable.  He pushed me at a young age to get a job and go "be somebody."  

I was never an overachiever in my academics.  I didn't like the classroom.  Boring.  

But when I found WORK--well, I LOVED it!  I could accomplish results and climb a ladder.  I could "become somebody."

I still want to "become somebody."  I'm sharing something today that I wrote 9 years ago.  Long before I reached my heaviest weight.  I wrote it only months before I married the love of my life.  A little over a year before welcoming my first child into the world.

When I found this in my journal archives, I realized, I could have written this yesterday.  For all the wonderful changes that have happened in my life, there are still things that need a major overhaul.  This is one of those things.

If I don't change the habits I've created in my mind, I will surely begin to undo the other good habits I've created in my health--in fact, I've seen it happen.  Being healthy can't just be about my weight.  It has to be about my head, too.

And, you don't "become somebody" through your work. 

TALKATIVE, 
written by Julie Garner in 2003

Talkative—definitely a word used to describe me.  Yet, somehow when it comes to the matters of the heart, my tongue falls silent and I feel like no one would really want to hear what I have to say.  

My silence can be a dangerous ground.  I tend to stay silent about all of the anxiety I really feel and then, when I reach my breaking point, I fall off the edge leaving everyone around me wondering how that just happened.

So that no one is surprised, here is my cry for help!  I am near the edge, and sense that at any moment I could fall off.

We have been non-stop busy for months at the marketing agency.  I don’t remember a lull since last January.  To top it off, I push myself very hard.  I thrive on doing a great job, on being self-managed, and in knowing I’ve contributed something of value.  There are times when I like others to give me an added push, because it really stretches me.  But lately, that extra push has been really hard, and I am feeling overwhelmed.  

For the most part, I thrive on pressure.  I really like the adrenaline I get from it.  There’s nothing like making a deadline just under the wire.  But too much stress can be detrimental, and becomes my catalyst for terrible illnesses.  ANXIETY and DEPRESSION.

I see the symptoms.  They’re very present.  It’s like a runny nose or a dull headache just before the blow-out cold—muscle tension, inability to concentrate, irritable mood, loss of interest in social activities, inability to sleep, restlessness, fatigue, feelings of worthlessness (saying “I’m sorry” for every little thing)…Yep, that's me. I’m a walking advertisement for these mental health issues.

Those closest to me see the symptoms too.  Even when I’m not aware of my own demeanor, I've been marked as irritable or having a bad attitude.  Knowing others see it only makes me feel worse.  I want to be excellent, God-centered, a good worker, a caring person.  

Will there be hope for me to breathe again?  To come to work and enjoy the pace without feeling wiped out by all of it?

What is missing from my life in the stress of trying to "become somebody"?

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, faithfulness, goodness, and self-control.  

Maybe, none of what we do matters if we can’t demonstrate these things to one another.

We only get one chance at this life, Friends.  As you plod through your day today, ask yourself--am I becoming the person I truly want to be?  

Maybe today is the day to start a list.  I call mine the "I am becoming..." list.  I talk about the things I am becoming as if they are real today.  Because when I believe that I can become those things, I change the choices I make for my life so I truly can "become somebody."

I AM BECOMING...

...a healthy person

...a person who laughs with my children

...a person who knows when to stop working

...a person who...